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 Post subject: Word Play
PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:33 pm 
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To my 'selected' strange-minded friends:

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.
__________________________________________________________________________

Your first German lesson - Enjoy.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than the other possibility, German. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, vevil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer,ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forstplas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

___________________________________________________________________________

Cursing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training..
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.





Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.





Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?





Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.





Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!





Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.





Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.





Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?





Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.





Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?





Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.





Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.





Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.





Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.





Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.





Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.





Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?




Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.




Thank You,
Human Resources

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 Post subject: Re: Word Play
PostPosted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:44 am 
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:uplaugh: :uplaugh:

Nice one

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 Post subject: Re: Word Play
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:03 am 
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Great ones! :mrgreen:

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