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A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?

The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'


'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

. . .and the blonde entered into Heaven...... ....

Ian

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Navitimer World, Callistino.
Omega Speedmaster Moon, Hamilton 992B, Steinhart BS LEII #2, B&R 01-92 Heritage

Again. Lost! Is this UK humor?

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SA-Baton White Dial/ProII
Tissot Le Locle

Thanks, I didn't want to ask again

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"Leave the gun, take the cannoli."

Naaa mate, its Australian.

Errrr let me try to explain, no its too hard, wait for an Australian to come along.

Let me find something else for you.

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Navitimer World, Callistino.
Omega Speedmaster Moon, Hamilton 992B, Steinhart BS LEII #2, B&R 01-92 Heritage

Hey well I found it funny!

How does that old phrase go? Something like "The UK and the USA : two countries divided by a common language!". Never a truer word spoken.

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Driver8

Site Moderator

You have to know the song to get the joke. And no I'm not going to sing it, it will make me cringe.

great, now I gotta google an Australian song. never thought I'd say that.

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"Leave the gun, take the cannoli."

Oh, "And He". Now I get it. I should have looked up the song before I read the joke.

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"Leave the gun, take the cannoli."

Ok. Def had to youtube the song. I get it. Damn humor that I just dont get! LOL

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SA-Baton White Dial/ProII
Tissot Le Locle

Good joke but you definitely need to know the song

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Happines is Good Health and a Bad Memory.
"Ingrid Bergman"

Funny Aus joke..

For those who didn't know the song..

"Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong,
Under the shade of a Coolibah tree,
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me,
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me..."